Emily (00:01):

Hello. Hello, hello. My beautiful friends. I am here with one of my beautiful friends, Gina. Um, Gina, I'm so excited you are here today. I want you to tell us a little bit about yourself, your journey, um, all the things, <laugh>.

Gina (00:16):

Hey Emily. Thanks for having me on the podcast. I'm super excited to be here. So I stepped into my I VF journey about a year ago. I started my egg retrieval process in November of 2021. And prior to that I had had three miscarriages and I couldn't figure out why or what was going on, and I just wanted a different option. So my husband and I went to a fertility clinic to see what we could possibly do and what's covered by our insurance and what our options were. And we decided that IVF was the best choice for us and to do, um, the PPG t a testing and make sure all our embryos were good quality since they couldn't really find any reason for my miscarriages. Um, so after that I did the egg retrieval. Everything went great. I had about eight embryos that were normal that we could transfer, and I had one transfer and that one failed.

(01:23):

And then my heart was crushed and broken and I was at four miscarriages. And then I just really kind of lost myself in the process. And that's when I found you, Emily, to help me through, um, getting through the mental part of trying to conceive and struggling with the frustration of having no answers for why this was happening to me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I just really felt lost and confused and I didn't know what to do with my feelings and I didn't really know anyone else who had been in this situation. So I had no one to turn to. And I didn't necessarily think that finding a therapist was the right choice for me because it wasn't anything that I needed help with from my past. I really just needed help with what was going on in my life currently and how to handle those feelings that were coming up.

(02:16):

And I really just didn't know how to manage my life and I v F at the same time. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I just, and especially because my doctors had no answers for me of why this was happening and I was just at my wit's end and really it was not fun. So, um, then I did another transfer and had another miscarriage and that had brought me to five miscarriages and I had lost two normal embryos in the process. Still not many answers as to why everything was normal and fine. Um, my body just doesn't cooperate <laugh>, I guess the best way to say it. So that's been my journey so far. And then I took a really great break mm-hmm. Which was so helpful and we can get a little bit more into that after. But, um, yeah, and I just did another transfer yesterday actually, so, yep.

Emily (03:15):

I

Gina (03:16):

<laugh> I feel so much better about this one. I'm a completely different person than when I first met you. Um, it's been such a pleasure getting to work with you and manage my mind and go through this process with you and my corner because you helped me immensely and I just can't ever thank you enough for that because of how different I feel in my life and it, I don't feel consumed by ivf.

Emily (03:47):

Um, first of all, for anyone listening, um, Gina is quite literally one of the most delightful people I've ever met my entire life. I did not pay her to say any of those things. <laugh>. And when we talked prior to recording this, we talked, uh, what, like two days ago? Yeah. Yeah. Um, one of the things that she, she was saying similar things, and I want everyone to hear this because anyone who works with a coach or a counselor, coaches, counselors will take a tiny portion of credit. Like, yes, we'll take a tiny portion of credit, but we always, always, always, or at least my belief, this is my thought, the good ones will always put it back on you guys because we're not the, like, I didn't seek Gene out. She sought me out. She heard something that connected and we'll talk about that in a minute.

(04:34):

Um, but she did the work, right? So if you've ever coached with me, you know that my coaching philosophy is very much based in like, I'm just really curious about what's going on for you. And then we'll find something that's really painful or something you wanna talk about and then we'll talk about it. Um, but y you are the one who did all the work, so I think I told you I'll take like 10% of the credit or something, but 90% of how you are feeling right now, that lightness that we talked about and that we'll continue to talk about for this. That's all you babe. You did that <laugh>.

Gina (05:08):

Thank you. I did it all. I hardly needed you and <laugh>.

Emily (05:15):

I was dust in the wind for you

Gina (05:16):

<laugh>. Oh, I but really so much. I love you too. You're just so excellent. Um, yeah, but I, I found you cuz I mean like, I'm not the person who really read like, I think the pineapples and stuff are cute for IVF and <laugh>. I, I like cutesy things to an extent and no hate to anyone that loves that stuff, but like, I'm mostly sarcastic. So when I saw your podcast I v f this, I was like, yes, I v f this so hard right now. <laugh> like

Emily (05:44):

All the way

Gina (05:45):

Around <laugh>. Yes. So I just felt super connected to you and I was so nervous to reach out to you, but I was like, you know what? I'm sick of feeling this way and if I can mm-hmm <affirmative> not feel this way, I would love that. So how am I gonna make that happen? And here we are.

Emily (06:02):

<laugh>. So good. Okay, so, um, because IVF coaching is a relatively like undiscussed unheard of kind of a thing. Like most people know what counseling and therapy is and most people associate much like I did before I got into coaching. What coaching was like executives or if you owned a business or weight loss or something. So tell a little bit about, or in, from your perspective, what was it like coaching and what was like the most impactful thing or things that you kind of uncovered during our process together?

Gina (06:39):

So coaching for me was really mostly about unpacking my thoughts and pointing out areas in my life where I was creating false narratives for myself. I was making things for myself so much harder or worse than they really were in reality. And blaming myself and creating this story in my head that just wasn't true. And like, I mean, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I spend a lot of time in my head and my thoughts affect how I view the world and I think that could be universally true. So there's been times throughout coaching like where I had a p a problem with a friendship where my friend got pregnant and it like broke my heart and I was in such a bad place and I just couldn't handle the pregnancy announcement. And watching her go through all that and I was happy for her but I was also just crushed for myself because I had been trying to have a baby for two years at that point and I just felt like no one could understand me and where I was coming from.

(07:52):

And I really, you sent me that worksheet about like changing how people, how you view your relationships and how you can't control other people's behavior. And it really helped me break down my thoughts about my relationship with my friend and how important that relationship really was to me. And how I just had to figure out what I was feeling and take space from that relationship that's so important to me because of all the things I had going on in my life that were so hard at the time. Like everything just really weighed at me on me at that time. And I couldn't be supportive because I needed to put myself first. And you from working with you, I realized that was okay. It was important for me to put myself first and that I could take space and still be a good friend. And like, by taking that space and then eventually reuniting and having a conversation and not just pretending everything was okay the whole time, that like, it made our friendship so much stronger and so much more genuine. And like I loved myself and my friend through that process and now I can be there for my friend and she had her baby and he's beautiful and amazing and like I'm so happy he exists and it didn't tear us apart and I don't think I would've come out of that situation with so much grace and positivity had I not had the guidance from you to navigate that situation because I've never been in that situation. I didn't have anyone to turn to in that moment. So thank you

Emily (09:31):

<laugh> that Oh my gosh, that warms my heart so much. Cuz I remember. And for those of you listening, Jean and I have known each other, um, we were talking about this before we hit record, we think it was around like January or February of 2022 when we first started working together. So when this episode airs, it'll be early 2023. So we've almost known each other for a year. And um, you know, I, I remember so clearly how important you were kind of describing how important that relationship was for you. And I think one of the things that we struggle with, particularly with friendships and I'm so glad that you brought this particular thing up, is that we think that that jealousy or that sadness, we feel like it's like the scary thing in the room and it's gonna manifest its way into some horrible thing.

(10:21):

Like, you're gonna call her up and say, you know, I'm happy for you but you're also a horrible person because I'm not pregnant. Like, we think we're gonna do that. But really that's, I I mean you could, that's always, that's always an option, option <laugh>. Um, but most of the time we just need to like, to allow ourselves to have that really tender time of feeling really happy for them and sad for us. And um, I love cuz we talked about like you absolutely could pick up the phone and just call her and pretend nothing happened. Um, but you were very adamant of like, no, I wanna own my part in this. And so we talked over, um, and I usually give an example of like, you know, this has been a really tender time for me. It's not a reflection of how much I love you or how much I'm excited for you or how happy I am for you, but I had to take that time or I needed to do this or, um, create some space for me, um, because of that. And I just want you to know that. And I think that's a beautiful testament to number one, how much you love and cherish that relationship, but considering how lovingly you speak of it still, it also shows how much she loves and cherishes you and y'all's relationship. And that's such a beautiful thing,

Gina (11:39):

<laugh>. It is. Yeah. She and her husband are like my best friends in the whole world. So like I, of course I'm like, I could never throw that away and like I just, this just changed me so much that I feel like I can have difficult conversations with people and be true to myself and be honest about what's happening in my life because sometimes it feels so shameful to have to go through I v f cuz you feel like this should be something that I should be able to do because I'm a biological woman and I should be able to have a child. And it puts this, again, that false narrative in my head where I think that I'm failing something and I'm ashamed of this process, but it's just my situation and my truth and I have to accept my life as it is. And even though it's not glamorous or great and that's fine and that's real and raw and it's just really what's happening.

(12:36):

And I think it took me a longer time to accept what was happening to me than when I started going through it. So I was kind of just a mess trying to like fall down the stairs through the I V F process, like figuring out, all right, how do I, how do I emotionally process five miscarriages within a year? Like, it's, it's crazy. So it's just, um, it's a lot. And then, yeah, and like everywhere I turn everyone's pregnant or has a baby and it, it's, it's heavy and I, I feel so much better and different now and like, I am happy and happy for myself too. And that's really like what I don't feel like I need to force myself to suffer or punish myself as I go through this because yes, this is my journey and I just have to, I should do it with grace and I should do it in a way that's accepting and gentle on myself because I deserve to enjoy my life. Like I worked hard to get where I am and I want to be happy and like bring, if I have a child, I wanna be a whole person for that child. Like I wanna be me and all the wonderful things about me. Like I don't wanna just be a shell of myself who has nothing left to give and that's not fair to my future child or myself or my husband or friends or family. Everyone.

Emily (14:05):

Oh my gosh, Gina, I, you, she's gonna be like a cog guest for every single podcast

Gina (14:11):

Episode. I

Emily (14:11):

Am <laugh> because this is this stuff that I, you know, I always talk about how we can do infertility, we can do IVF differently, right? When the first time, the first round I went through, I mean, it was self-flagellation, it was self-loathing, it was mostly done in silence. There were a few people who knew my first round and if you know me, I'm not necessarily like someone who is, um, like predisposed to a lot of shame, <laugh>. I'm, I'm pretty shameless in a lot of ways and I own that and it's fine. And so it was really, it, it was really unusual for me, um, to experience that that way. And then once I found, once I figured out what was happening, those narratives that you were beautifully referred to and that none of it was true, like n zero, there was nothing for me to be ashamed about, it would, it would be like being ashamed of having any other medical diagnosis.

(15:14):

Um, which it's not necessary. And um, you know, what you were talking about was like, you know, having to process through those five miscarriages in a year. Um, you know, I worked in the hospital for 15 years and one of the things that we talk about, like in pain management, let's just say you had a surgery and pain management, the goal is to stay on top of your pain. So if you were prescribed a medication every six hours, especially for the first few days, you want to take it every six hours because catching up when you're already in pain is much more challenging than just staying on top of it. And so that was kind of what popped into my head when you were talking about like, I had to, I, it took me longer and I, I think, you know, longer is a, is a very subjective term, um, cuz that's a comparison of, of something that doesn't really exist.

(16:02):

But it was that idea of like, we just had to give you the opportunity to, to hold onto that space, hold onto that pain, hold onto that grief, hold onto that loss for a little while so that you could say, okay, now I'm ready, I'm ready to carry it with me instead of trying to bury it behind me. Um, and again, that was something that you worked through that was something that you understood was an ownership responsibility for you and you just took it beautifully. It was, it was magnificent to watch. I will be honest. <laugh>,

Gina (16:35):

Thank you. It definitely didn't feel that way while I was going through it. Oh, for sure. <laugh>. But now on the other side, it's definitely like, I feel even everyone I see is like, you seem so different, like, what did you do? And I'm like, I have been on a break from IVF for six months. Yes. And taking that break was like the best thing I could have ever done for myself. And I mean, like, I think as a woman in her mid thirties, I, I, there's pressure on myself to be like, I have a timeline and I wanna be on this timeline and taking six months off is setting me back six months. But like, I'm like six years forward <laugh> like, I feel so great. That was the best. Like the whole thing wasn't great. I'm making it sound like, oh, it was so nice and nice to take a break.

(17:25):

It, I mean, it was a lot of work. I did a lot of work. Yes. During that break, like, I took a vacation with my husband to South Carolina. I like cried every day and like ate a million tacos and <laugh>. It was, it was wonderful. And we just like got drunk and laughed and cried and I was just like a mess a lot of the time. But I, it was necessary because like I had to process those things. Yeah. And I had to say like, I'm not gonna jump right back into this. I need to take time for myself. And I found a new gynecologist who's like on board with my plan going forward and mm-hmm. <affirmative>, she's been amazing. And she even like did some research into a similar patient that she has that was on like a similar protocol to me. And she gave me like a different MFMs information.

(18:21):

So her maternal fetal fetal medicine doctor. And um, cuz she said, the one I consulted with when she read the letter that they wrote was dismissive, which I was like, wow, you know, like you're my hero. Like you actually are a doctor who's advocating for your patient. And I feel like that's so few and far between, but like, you don't have to settle for your doctor because they're your doctor right now. Like, you can change your doctor and you can find a doctor who is in line with your plan and your thinking and what you want and the type of treatment you wanna have. So I'm so thankful that I had that break to find her. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then I also met with a rheumatologist and had some additional testing, which all came up clear just to have peace of mind for myself. Um, yeah, so it's been great. Thank

Emily (19:12):

<laugh>. Yeah. And you know, just, just for, just to keep everything clear, you and I did not meet, we were not meeting, uh, regularly during your break. So it's not as if Gina was, Gina and I were working together during that time. The work that referring to is taking from what we had already done and continuing to apply it time after time. Um, and the second thing I want to, to everyone to know is that healing is messy. Yes. Like PE we have a very, um, distorted view of what trauma looks like. We have a very distorted view of what healing looks like. We have a very distorted image of honestly just about everything. <laugh>. We have a very idealized vision of most things. And you know, I think living is messy and healing is messy and getting hurt is messy. And um, so I think if you keep that in mind, then even as out of control as you might have felt in that <laugh>, you know, beautiful South Carolina, um, Airbnb, um, with Sounds lovely with all those tacos, you know, it, it makes sense. It

Gina (20:28):

Is <laugh>.

Emily (20:29):

Yeah. It makes sense. Why why that that part of the journey was messy for you. Um, and I just, yeah, I just wanna implore everyone who is listening that the, the crying it's necessary. Like yes. Gina and I were joking, um, when we met two days ago. Both of us are kind of like, uh, my friends growing up called me stone eyes cuz I didn't cry all that often. <laugh>. Um, but you know, when I need to, I cry and that's okay. And when I need to, I scream. And, um, I feel like one point, um, I even had Gina punch pillows. That's a pretty typical thing that we do <laugh> during this <laugh> that I do with my clients during sessions is allow them the opportunity to cry, scream. I've had clients do jumping jacks just to try to get through, burn off some of that emotion. It's so good. Okay. Um, I could literally talk to you for hours, but in the, in its name of brevity, we gotta keep this going. So, um, is there a concept or a topic that we covered that really, really resonated with you and that maybe you still carry with you or even more than one?

Gina (21:38):

Yeah. I really love having a plan for what I'm going to do in this situation. If the situation goes either way, if it goes great or if it goes terribly, if it goes, how am I gonna take care of myself? And I love that concept and I think that's so important because then I don't feel like I'm scrambling for a plan. Like I'll take off work if I know I have an appointment coming up that might crush my day and I'll make sure that Evan's available. Well, my husband, you can edit that out. <laugh> my husband's available for me when I or my friends. Or I'll make plans with people to keep myself busy and then have the availability to cancel them if I want to. I don't, I don't make anything off limits for myself and I just give myself a ton of grace and I'm super nice to myself because I just think about if this was my friend going through this, how would I treat her?

(22:34):

And I'm my best friend, so I have to treat her nice <laugh> because yes, we're together all the time. So it's, my head has to be a nice place to live and it's such a great spot. I, I feel so much better. And like, even though we didn't talk during my break, I still had you on my, in my ear through your podcast <laugh> listening like on my daily walks and everything. And I would just keep those concept concepts in mind and practice what you've told me. And when I'd noticed myself being mean to myself or thinking thoughts that weren't really supporting where I, where I wanted to be, um, I'd think about like, is that true? No. All right. Let's let's delete that one <laugh>. Like, that's not true. Like, and it just really makes such a difference if you practice that every day. Like it really, really does.

Emily (23:24):

Um, yes. So I love it so much. Yeah. Um, the idea of just questioning your thoughts, you know, we talked a lot about are you listening to yourself or are you talking to yourself? Yes. Um, and I've talked about that on the podcast too. And you know what, what Gina's referring to is these automatic thoughts that your brain just populates. 90% of them based on evolution are gonna be negative. So, you know, for me, right before we got on, um, to record this, I was having some tech issues and one of the thoughts that popped up on my head was like, Emily, you don't know how to do this. And then I, I almost like, almost like it was a scene from the office where I just turned to the camera and I was like, woman, you had done this on this platform multiple times. This isn't a knowledge issue, <laugh>, let's just calm down. Um, but that's, that's a beautiful example of what are, are what you're saying. Is that true? Probably not. You don't know that brain. It's not like your brain is a vindictive, um, villain or something. It's just kind of a, a <laugh> kind of a drunk a-hole <laugh>.

Gina (24:37):

That's true. It really is

Emily (24:39):

Just spouting off random things. That's so good. Um, okay, I have a favorite memory, but I wanna hear about yours. What is your favorite memory of working together?

Gina (24:49):

My favorite memory, huh? All right, let me think. I should have prepared this. <laugh> <laugh>. I think, I think one of my favorite memories was I remember I was sitting upstairs in my guest room, we were doing a call and like you were asking me to like picture myself as a child and like talk to myself as a kid. Mm-hmm. And like, I never do that. And like, I just kind of like, I'm always like, no, I'm not. I'm different now. Like, I'm a totally different person and like, sometimes I picture myself talking to myself as a kid and then like I re I think of you and then I'm like, I need to be nice to my, you're literally like this little angel on my shoulder. Like that just helps me control my thoughts and like, be better to myself. And like, I just really, that's just my favorite thing about you.

(25:38):

Like I just have you in my head helping me figure out life because I just don't wanna be mean to myself. And I was, I'm hard on myself. Like, yes, you talk about perfectionism a lot of the time. Like I used to really have this perfectionist mindset and like everything had to be perfect. And if it wasn't perfect, then I wasn't gonna admit it. And like mm-hmm. <affirmative> now I just really think it's like so much more interesting to be imperfect and like all the things that people think are so terrible or scary. Like that's what makes you unique and great and yeah. You're just my favorite. That's what I'm saying. <laugh>.

Emily (26:17):

Um, ditto my friend, my beautiful friend. Ditto. Um, yes, we're all chaos goblins all of us. Yes,

(26:26):

All of us. Um, and I, I, I had to like hold myself down in my chair cause my chair's a little noisy. Um, because that was almost, that was almost exactly, that's exactly the, uh, point of reference. Um, the, the memory that I had was us doing that activity, um, a little bit of a different take on it because, um, what, what that was for anyone listening is it's inner child healing, right? So for a lot of us, um, this isn't a dog on anybody's parents, our parents, everybody does the best that they could. That's how I believe. That's how I walk around. Yep. Um, and so, but sometimes we do have to look back at our inner child and sort of reparent ourselves in a way. And, but it is a little bit of a woowoo sort of an exercise

Gina (27:19):

<laugh>. And I'm all about the woowoo

Emily (27:22):

<laugh>. I know. And that's, that was what was so amazing was that you took what could, what a lot of people might look at on the surface as kind of a silly exercise. And you e even if you thought that for a moment you didn't, you didn't let me know that you just, you just did it. And so when I talk about the benefits that you can get from coaching, like doing all of this differently, one of the really important things is you have to be coachable. You have to be do willing to do something that might seem silly. You have to be willing to be wrong about what you believe about yourself and your life. And that has always been the case from the moment I met you. And I think in our, I believe we did a mini session at first. Yes. And I believe in our minis session, I said, you are incredibly coachable and it's not because you listened to everything I said. There were certain things that we disagreed as a harsh term, but that we didn't, that I wasn't connecting or that you didn't agree with or whatever mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But it was the idea that yeah, I'm willing to do the work and if that's what you're asking me to do, that's fine. Um, so I love that we had the same memory. That's amazing.

Gina (28:34):

<laugh>. That is hilarious.

Emily (28:36):

And anytime your puppy joined in on the call, um, which all animals are welcome on any call, I love them so much.

Gina (28:43):

Um, she's out for a walk right now. Or else I would've brought her on the podcast. <laugh>.

Emily (28:48):

Yeah. I would've, I would've enjoyed that baby right there.

Gina (28:51):

<laugh>.

Emily (28:51):

Um, okay, so last question. Usually one of the biggest takeaways is what would you, what would a piece of advice or, or something that really helped you, what would you offer to an IVF for listening to this? Um, who is still kind of where you were a year ago, kind of that lost husk of a person?

Gina (29:12):

Hmm. Okay. I've got tons of advice. I'd say <laugh>. So first of all, I V F is not your life. It's a part of your life. Don't make it your whole entire life. Like, don't put your life on hold because of what ifs. Just take that new job. I took a new job. It's the best thing I ever did. It's amazing. My manager's so supportive. My company I work for is great. I have amazing benefits. I made a wonderful move for myself and I make more money and I'm super happy. And like my transfer might work or it might not work, but I am still living my life. And now it doesn't feel like I v f is everything. The success of my I V F or failure of my I V F isn't going to define my entire life. It's not my whole self. And, um, yeah, like advocate for yourself.

(30:10):

Take that break. Take the break. If you're suffering and it this doesn't feel fun or good for you, just take a break. It will feel so much better on the other side. And <laugh> last but not least, my final piece of advice is if you are open to this and you are a spiritual person in this type of way, take some psychedelic mushrooms and microdose them or trip on mushrooms and connect with yourself again and heal yourself and do that journey. And just really explore the inner workings of your mind and call Emily and get some coaching and manage your mind because she will help guide you to the place where your mind can feel better. And like, you don't need to suffer throughout this process. Like you deserve better than that. You deserve to be gentle with yourself and make this life something you are happy with and proud of because you have to keep going.

(31:13):

Like your life's not gonna stop when you're done with I V F or if you have a baby, or if you don't have a baby. And you have to navigate a childless life. Or if you wanna use a surrogate or adopt, there's options out there and you're not alone. And your, your journey is beautiful and unique because it's yours. And having people in your life who support you and are there for you during that time when you need them is so important. But the most important relationship you have throughout this process is the one with yourself. And making that relationship a beautiful, kind, compassionate relationship is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. Because that will be with you long after you're through your I V F journey. It, it'll stay and be such an important part of who you are. So I just, that's my advice. <laugh>

Emily (32:09):

And I, I literally had to mute myself because I knew Gina was gonna drop some amazing stuff. So <laugh> <laugh>, I was dancing in my while she was saying it and I knew I had to mute myself otherwise I would interject cuz blabber mouth, Emily would've taken over and I would've been like

Gina (32:24):

<laugh>.

Emily (32:25):

Um, but yes, all of that. And I do wanna touch on one thing because you've mentioned taking a break. Um, um, and you had, you had about a six month-ish break and I want to let everyone, everyone know, anyone who's considering taking a break, anyone who is about to take a break, anyone who's on a break or has just come off of a break. Um, I wanna make it really, really clear that when Gina and I were working together, actively working together, and she was, we were talking about taking a break, it was not as if she made the decision and felt super good about taking a break.

Gina (33:01):

<laugh>, I was a mess. Honestly. Emily told me to write two letters to myself for like, from five years from now. One if I kept going and one if I stopped IVF treatment and like changed my entire life. And like, it was hard. It was really hard to decide that. And it was, uh, as I said, after the break was when I took that South Carolina vacation and cried in the Airbnb the half the time. So it was a mess. It was a total mess. But now that I'm like removed from it and went through all those parts of the break and like, felt different about it, it was the best thing I ever did. Like, I am so thankful for it because my body feels better, my mind feels better. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I lost 10 pounds. I have like a really great diet. Like, I mean, I have a lot of food allergies, so I stopped eating things. I was allergic to <laugh>, so that's probably why my body feels so great. But yeah, it's just, it was eventually great, but it took a lot of work to make it great. Yes. So it's not gonna be easy, but it is beneficial.

Emily (34:10):

Yeah. And I think, um, one of the things that we talked about, one of the last things we talked about before you took your break was that you wanted to decide to take a break and to feel good about it no matter what <laugh>. And I was like, what? Yes,

Gina (34:22):

<laugh>.

Emily (34:22):

That, that's not really how it works.

Gina (34:25):

<laugh> no <laugh>.

Emily (34:26):

But, but I think, you know, when a again, a testament to how coachable you are and therefore how amazing your results have been is that you are willing to accept, okay, I'm gonna feel if I, if I continue to power through, I'm still gonna feel terrible. Um, but I'm gonna feel like I'm doing something. Yeah. Or if I take a break, I'm gonna give my cha myself the chance to physically, emotionally, psychologically heal, um, but also feel like I'm not being productive. So it's, it's always a choice. What are you willing to accept? Um, so if, again, if you're considering taking a break, I want you to really listen to what Gina's saying. Like that shit is not easy. It's not an easy choice where you get to feel rosy and happy and rainbows and unicorns are coming outta you, ev every orifice. It's still a choice between an uncomfortable feeling. Um, but what feeling are you willing to manage your mind around? And Jeanie, you did amazing. You are doing amazing. Thank you. It's so beautiful.

Gina (35:31):

Yeah. Like even the break, like even though if might be considered like not productive, it still was productive cuz it allowed me a lot of space to like contact a new doctor for like my ob care and set myself up for stuff I don't have to do now that I'm in the cycle. Like I don't have to find a new OB that I will love because I already did. I don't have to set up a new appointments because I already did all that when I had the space and time too. And now I can just focus on managing myself through this process and making sure I take all my medication, getting ready for the holidays, planning a bunch of parties. Like, it's just a lot more freeing to have the break because you can accomplish so much more when you're not in the, the throngs of this process.

Emily (36:22):

So good. Oh Gina, I adore you so much.

Gina (36:25):

The feelings. Mutual

Emily (36:27):

<laugh>, thank you for being on today. Um, I know everyone, anyone listening can gleam even if it's just hope. Um, I think one of the things that Gina really wanted was to feel hopeful. And that's, that's always my goal is, is that we don't have to wage war against hope because I know a lot of us do. Um, and so if you're listening and you, you heard the light from Gina cuz that's when I saw her on camera two days ago, all I could think was how Radiant, she's a gorgeous woman regardless. <laugh>, thank you. Um, but the radiance coming off of her, the light that coming off of her, the ease coming off of her is just, it is a testament to what you can do, what you're capable. Everything was there for Gina. We just had to plug it into different things and take a look at different things. Um, but it is possible for you too. And I, I just love that you're hair shining your light. Thank you so much for being here,

Gina (37:29):

Gina. My pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Emily (37:33):

Right. Boom.