Welcome to IVF This – Episode 175 IVF & Sticky Note Thoughts  

Hello, hello, hello, my beautiful friends! I hope you are all doing so, so well today. I am doing well, just hanging out in my little corner of the world, trying to keep my brain from running in a million different directions. Because, my friends, today we are talking about something sneaky, something persistent, something that I bet every single one of you experiences but maybe hasn’t had a name for before. Today, we are talking about Sticky Note Thoughts.  

These little thoughts are like those tiny Post-it notes that you swear you only used one or two of, but now they are everywhere—stuck to your computer, your fridge, the bottom of your sock, and somehow in your car, even though you don’t *remember* putting them there.  

They just show up. They linger. And most importantly—they feel true.  

So today, we’re going to talk about:  

- What Sticky Note Thoughts are  

- Why do they feel so sticky  

- How they shape your emotions, decisions, and actions  

- And how you can start working with them instead of letting them run the show  

Alright, let’s get into it.  

What Are Sticky Note Thoughts? 

Okay, so imagine your brain is a giant whiteboard. There’s a lot of space for different ideas, feelings, and thoughts to come and go. But then, there are these little sticky notes—thoughts that don’t just float in and out. They stick. And not in a helpful, “remember to buy milk” kind of way.  

No, these are the thoughts that whisper things like:  

- “I’m not doing enough.”  

- “I should have figured this out by now.” 

- “Other people don’t struggle like I do.” 

- “What if this never happens for me?” 

And what’s wild about these thoughts is that they’re not always loud and obvious. They don’t necessarily scream at you like an inner critic might. Instead, they hover in the background—just quiet enough to blend into the noise of your mind but still powerful enough to shape how you feel and what you do.  

It’s like you’re just going about your day, and suddenly, your brain casually drops a “You should have done more today” into the mix. And instead of questioning it, you just accept it. Like, Yeah, I should have.

And boom. It sticks. 

Why Are They So Sticky?  

So why do these thoughts feel like they have Gorilla Glue on them? Like they’ve been welded to you?

1. Your Brain Loves Efficiency 

Your brain wants to take the path of least resistance. If a thought has been repeated enough—whether it’s true or not—your brain is like, Oh, this must be important! Let’s keep it handy.  

It’s like your mind is trying to be *helpful* by making sure these thoughts are easily accessible. Except… they’re not actually helpful.  

2. The Negativity Bias  

Here’s something fun (and by fun, I mean *completely unfair*): your brain pays more attention to negative thoughts than positive ones.  

This is called the negativity bias, and it’s an evolutionary thing. Back when we were dodging saber-tooth tigers, it was way more important to remember where danger was than to stop and admire a pretty sunset.  

But now, in a world where we are not actively being hunted (hopefully), our brains are still scanning for potential threats—except now, those “threats” are things like failure, judgment, rejection, or uncertainty. So when a thought like*“I’m not good enough” pops up, your brain flags it as urgent and keeps it on repeat.  

3. They Get Reinforced Over Time  

The more you think something, the more your brain builds neural pathways around it.  

It’s like walking a trail in the woods. The more times you walk that path, the clearer and easier it becomes. Your Sticky Note Thoughts have simply been *walked* so many times that they feel like part of the landscape.  

How Sticky Note Thoughts Affect Us  

Okay, so you might be thinking—alright, I get that these thoughts stick around, but how much harm can they actually do?  

And -spoiler alert- its A LOT, my friend.  

1. They Shape Your Emotions  

Let’s say your Sticky Note Thought is “I’m behind.”  

- That thought creates pressure.  

- That pressure creates stress.  

- That stress makes it harder to focus, rest, or feel at ease.  

2. They Shape Your Decisions 

Maybe you want to take a break, but your sticky note says, “You haven’t done enough yet.” 

So instead of resting, you keep pushing—until you’re completely exhausted.  

Or maybe your sticky note says, “What if this doesn’t work?”  

So you hesitate to try something new, to take a risk, or to trust yourself.  

3. They Keep You Stuck  

Most of our Sticky Note Thoughts feel like facts, but they are really just beliefs we’ve practiced so much that they seem true. If you never challenge them, they become your reality—even if they aren’t actually true.  

How to Work With Sticky Note Thoughts 

Alright, now that we know these thoughts are hanging around, what do we do about them?  

Step 1: Notice Them  

The first step is awareness.  

Start paying attention to what thoughts pop up over and over again.  

Ask yourself:  

- What are my most common sticky note thoughts?  

- When do they show up? (Stress? Comparison? Fatigue?)  

- Do I believe them, or have I just gotten used to them?  

Step 2: Question Them  

Just because a thought has been hanging out in your brain for years does not mean it’s true.  

Ask:  

- Would I say this to a friend?  

- Is there actual evidence for this, or is it just a feeling?  

- What’s another way to look at this?  

For example, if your sticky note says “I’m failing”, you might ask: Failing compared to what? Who decided what success should look like?  

Step 3: Replace or Reframe  

You don’t have to force yourself to go from “I’m failing” to “I’m amazing!” overnight. That’s not realistic.  

But you can shift to something more neutral and believable, like:  

- “I am figuring this out.” 

- “I’m doing what I can with what I have.”  

- “My timeline is my own.”  

Step 4: Decide Which Thoughts to Keep  

Not all thoughts are bad! If a thought motivates you, keep it. But if it only adds stress, shame, or self-doubt, it’s time to take it off the board.  

Final Thoughts  

My friends, you are not at the mercy of every thought your brain throws at you. You get to decide what stays and what goes.  

So this, week, I want you to pay attention to your sticky note thoughts. Write them down. Get curious about them. And start replacing them with thoughts that actually serve you.  

Because you deserve that, so that is what I have for you today. I hope you have a great week, and I’ll talk to you soon.